Why Great Real Estate Coaches Don’t Try to Look Perfect

Carlin A. Nguyen, PhD

In most real estate brokerages, coaching happens after a deal is won or lost. A team leader might review a listing presentation that did not convert, talk through how an objection was handled during a negotiation, or try to understand why a buyer suddenly went quiet. These conversations are meant to help agents improve. Yet many brokerage leaders notice the same pattern. Coaching happens regularly, but behavior does not always change.

One reason for this is that coaching only works when the salesperson is coachable. Coachability simply means someone is willing to listen to feedback, think about it honestly, and try something different next time.¹ However, coachability should not be confused with motivation. Many highly motivated agents still resist coaching because feedback can feel like they are being judged.

In many sales environments, when agents do not change their behavior, leaders assume the issue is motivation or discipline. The thinking tends to be that if someone were “hungry” enough, they would follow the coaching. 

Motivation certainly matters, but our research suggests something else may also be happening. Even motivated agents can become less open to coaching when the conversation feels like they are being judged rather than helped. This raises an important question for brokerage leaders about what makes salespeople more open to coaching in the first place.

Our research suggests that one answer lies in managerial vulnerability, which refers to a leader’s willingness to make or admit mistakes, show uncertainty, or ask for feedback, even in situations where doing so may feel uncomfortable or risky. In other words, vulnerability occurs when leaders openly acknowledge that they do not always get everything right.

Why Vulnerability Matters in Coaching

Salespeople operate in environments where their income, reputation, and identity are closely tied to performance. Because of this, feedback conversations can feel personal. When agents believe the conversation is about judging their ability, they often put their guard up and start defending their decisions instead of examining them. This reaction is natural. When people feel judged or threatened, they become less open to feedback.

In many organizations, the relationship between a manager and a salesperson centers on evaluating performance. A coach, however, focuses on helping someone improve. When coaching conversations feel like a boss reviewing performance, salespeople often become cautious and guarded. When the conversation feels like a coach helping them get better, they are much more willing to reflect on what happened and try new approaches.

Managerial vulnerability helps shift the conversation in that direction. When leaders openly acknowledge their own mistakes or uncertainty, they signal that the conversation is not about proving who is right or wrong. Instead, it is about learning and improving together. This lowers resistance to feedback and makes coaching conversations more productive.

In our study of 350 business-to-business sales professionals, we found that when most salespeople viewed their leaders as willing to acknowledge imperfections or make mistakes, they were more open to feedback and more likely to apply coaching in their work.

Part of what makes this powerful is the risk involved. When leaders admit mistakes or uncertainty in situations where they might otherwise feel pressure to appear confident, it feels genuine. Salespeople see that the leader is willing to be held to the same standard, which builds trust and makes feedback easier to accept.

Using Vulnerability Strategically

Vulnerability does not mean giving up authority or appearing unsure about important decisions. Real estate professionals still expect their leaders to demonstrate competence and direction. Instead, vulnerability works best when it supports learning while maintaining clear expectations. Leaders who acknowledge mistakes and also explain what they learned from them show both openness and experience.

Experience level may influence how leaders use vulnerability. New brokerage leaders may focus on providing clear direction while occasionally acknowledging situations they are still learning to navigate. Leaders with more experience can draw on past transactions to illustrate lessons from mistakes they have made. Highly experienced brokers may find that thoughtful vulnerability can strengthen trust and credibility by showing that even seasoned professionals continue to improve. Across all experience levels, the key is balance. Vulnerability should build trust and openness without lowering expectations for performance.

What Real Estate Leaders Should Do Differently

Research on managerial vulnerability suggests several practical shifts for brokerage leaders who want to strengthen coaching relationships.

What leaders should DO

• Begin coaching conversations by sharing a specific mistake they made in a similar situation and what they learned from it, especially in moments where they would normally be expected to have the answer.
• Put themselves in the same situations they expect agents to perform in, such as participating in role-play exercises or taking live calls in front of the team, and allow their performance to be openly evaluated. 
• Ask agents for direct feedback on their coaching and be willing to adjust based on what they hear, even when the feedback is uncomfortable. 
• Create structured opportunities to review deals that did not go as planned. Model openness by going first and walking through their own mistakes before asking others to share. 

What leaders can SAY or SHOW

• “I lost a listing in almost this exact situation because I missed what the seller was actually concerned about. Let’s break this down together.”
• “That objection actually caught me off guard. Give me a second to think through how I would handle that.”
• “Was that helpful, or did I just talk at you? I want to make sure this is actually useful for you.”
• Demonstrate a real prospecting or negotiation scenario in front of the team and invite agents to critique how it was handled

These shifts are not about being more supportive or collaborative. They are about reducing the sense that agents are being judged in coaching conversations. When that happens, agents are more willing to examine their own decisions and try new approaches.

Conclusion

Sales coaching is often discussed in terms of training programs, scripts, and performance metrics. While these tools are important, the effectiveness of coaching ultimately depends on the relationship between the leader and the salesperson.

Our research suggests that managerial vulnerability can strengthen that relationship. When leaders openly acknowledge mistakes or uncertainty in situations where they might otherwise feel pressure to appear confident, they create an environment where feedback feels safer and more useful.

However, our findings also suggest that vulnerability can lead to lower intensity of salesperson effort. Vulnerability may be most effective in long-term coaching relationships that focus on building trust over time. 

For real estate professionals responsible for developing agents, the takeaway is simple: Even disciplined and motivated agents may resist coaching if they feel judged. Leaders who are willing to show vulnerability can turn coaching conversations into opportunities for learning, making agents more open to feedback and more willing to apply what they learn.

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Recommended Reading

Nguyen, Carlin A., Andrew B. Artis, and Jeffrey E. Anderson (2026), “When Sales Managers Stop Pretending to Be Perfect: Vulnerability as a Catalyst for Sales Coachability,” Journal of Personal Selling & Sales Management. https://doi.org/10.1080/08853134.2025.2571551

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References

1. Shannahan, Kirby L., Alan J. Bush, and Rachelle J. Shannahan (2013), “Are Your Salespeople Coachable? How Salesperson Coachability, Trait Competitiveness, and Transformational Leadership Enhance Sales Performance,” Journal of the Academy of Marketing Science, 41(1), 40-54.

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About the Author

Carlin A. Nguyen, PhD
H. Jean Waldrop Associate Professor of Marketing, California State University, Los Angeles
Dr. Carlin A. Nguyen’s (PhD – University of South Florida) research focuses on salesperson development, sales coaching, and the relational dynamics that influence sales performance. His work has been published in outlets such as the Journal of Personal Selling & Sales Management, Journal of Selling, Journal of Business Research, and European Journal of Marketing. In addition to his academic research and teaching, Dr. Nguyen works closely with students and industry partners on sales education and professional development initiatives. He is also the founder of Sales Varsity (salesvarsity.org), a platform focused on developing practical sales skills among students and early-career professionals, and Unsold.me (unsold.me), an AI-powered career platform designed to help students better articulate and communicate their value in the job market.

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KCRR 2026 June - Why Great Real Estate Coaches Don’t Try to Look Perfect (Nguyen)