INSIDER: Defy: The Power of No in a World that Demands Yes

Feyisayo Adesugba, MSIS Candidate

Have you ever wondered why smart, well-meaning people go along with things that they know are wrong or unsettling? In the book Defy: The Power of No in a World that Demands Yes, Dr. Sunita Sah answers this question, exploring why people comply and offering guidance on conscientious resistance. Most people do not fail ethically because they are bad or weak; they fail because they comply a little, then a little more, until saying no feels impossible. Defy is about recognizing those moments earlier, learning how to stand up for yourself with will and skill, and making the world a better place.

THINK POINT #1: A True Yes

Growing up, we learned that obeying authority, laws, and customs promotes orderliness and cooperation, attributes that are necessary for any society to thrive. So, we often say yes to requests and actions that conflict with our values or remain silent even when we know harm is occurring. Dr. Sah explains that we comply or passively agree because we do not want to hurt the feelings of others. That is compliance, a “false yes”. But when we think or act differently because it is necessary and we are labeled as “bad,” she says that is defiance, a “true yes”. Regardless of the emotional and social consequences of our actions, we genuinely feel positive about aligning with our real values.

Every day in various settings, you face situations that require defiance, but they don’t always have to end the same way. Dr. Sah suggests that you can handle those inevitable situations and make an informed decision if you know who you are, assess the situation, take responsibility, prepare, and practice ahead. In fact, you wouldn’t need to be confrontational or rebellious to be resistant.

THINK POINT #2: A True No

While defiance can be life-changing, it can also be life-threatening. People rarely lie or stay quiet because they don't care. Instead, they do it for fear of being detested, ignored, or hurt. When an action is based on loyalty to others rather than personal values, Dr. Sah describes that as a “false no”. But when your choice is deliberate, well-considered and a reflection of your core values and integrity, that’s a “true no.” Sometimes, all it takes to stop wrongdoing and create a lasting change is for one person to speak up, and others often follow suit. She recommends not exposing yourself to the risk of saying a “true no” in situations when defiance could be ineffective or dangerous. Instead, embrace intentional compliance, defer defiance, and wait for its moment. Live to fight another day. Alternatively, she suggests you defy quietly by maintaining your moral principles and values—acting a “true no” without openly saying the word “no.”

In addition, Dr. Sah offers a roadmap for reforming institutional culture, demonstrating when to consciously comply and when to defy. First, advocate for your values during your regular daily activities. If routine advocacy fails, adopt internal or external dissent. Voice your concern about the decision or action, and if that doesn’t work, create public awareness by whistleblowing on the situation. Third, publicly flout harmful laws or rules—professional disobedience. When all three methods fail to yield a desirable result, adopt a principled exit. That way, you preserve your sense of self.

THINK POINT #3: Becoming a Moral Maverick

The journey to defiance always begins at the same place for everyone: connecting with what makes you different, your core values, and personal responsibility. Dr. Sah stresses that public defiance is a product of preparation and introspection. When you ask yourself the question: “Who am I?” and you know the answer, then you’d know what to do in awkward situations. You cease to be a spectator guided by what you are supposed to do or what is done to you. Rather, you focus on what you can do to become a better version of yourself and create the most positive change around you.

To become a maverick, you also need to answer the question: What does a person like me responsibly do in a situation like this? Dr. Sah confirms that the goal isn’t to get the answer right immediately, but to be progressive. Reflect on times that you felt bad after cowering, review the norms that keep you compliant, and how you’d act differently when you need to defy in the future.

Dr. Sah concludes that a maverick isn’t defined by upbringing, circumstances, or role models—although they may be helpful as you learn to defy. It is simply knowing exactly who you are, expressing what you value, and acting in alignment with your values. It is living a more honest life, becoming more of who you already are.

Real Estate Implications

In real estate, saying yes often feels like the default. Yes, to aggressive timelines, optimistic assumptions, and overlooking small issues to close a deal. Real estate agents can adopt the concepts Defy offers to navigate the high-pressure real estate environment without compromising their ethics and credibility. Agents and clients can pause and ask whether agreements align with their values, fiduciary duties, and long-term interests. To be a real estate moral maverick, you should be known for honesty, clear boundaries, and lasting commitments. Over time, that consistency attracts better clients, stronger referrals, and fewer regrets.

Recommended Reading

Sah, Sunita (2025), Defy: The Power of No in a World That Demands Yes, Penguin Random House LLC: New York. 

About the Author

Feyisayo Adesugba, MSIS Candidate
Baylor University
Feyisayo Adesugba is a data-driven business analyst who combines analytics with product thinking and process improvement to achieve key results. She has worked in various roles, including revenue optimization and performance management in utilities and consulting, operations and e-payments management in banking and real estate. She holds an MBA from Pan-Atlantic University, Lagos, and a B.Sc. in Estate Management from Obafemi Awolowo University, Ile-Ife, Nigeria. Her interests center on transforming data into clear stories that enhance customer experience, operational efficiency, and strategic outcomes.